A toddler and a newborn

This is hard! I feel like the hardest part right now is not feeling 100%. My mind feels ready, but my body doesn't. I stocked up on things from the dollar tree the other day, so I would be ready to spend some quality 1:1 time with Carly. I looked at pinterest and made a list of indoor activities. My friend Amber is always posting new activities she does with her little one. I thought - that's probably what I should be doing with Carly, especially since it might be another week before we're ready to go out and about. I think by next week things will go a lot smoother just because my body will be feeling better.

Yesterday, one of our activities was just going on a short walk. That might not have been the best choice. By the end of the day I was thinking I should have taken it a little easier (even though I feel like I have been taking it easy already). Especially since Benson's fussiest time is right before bed, it was a struggle to keep him happy and keep myself from hurting.

Activities of the week so far...

 Playdough. PS this is what Carly does when I say "show me your teeth". It used to be a smile, but has turned into this. For some reason, this face reminds me of her cousin Clasen...

Very focused. Putting cheerios then noodles on a spaghetti noodle 

Apparently, someone got a little hungry during the activity. Don't worry - I only let her eat the cheerios, even though she wanted to try the play dough and dry noodles (a few different times) :) 

 Pipe cleaners through the holes in a strainer

 Sorting the pom poms by color. This worked a lot better once I put 1 pom pom on each color sheet and only handed her one pom pom at a time.

 Then we practiced throwing our pom poms into a bowl.

 This paper doll house didn't last as long as I thought it might. 

 It was more fun to take it apart than to do anything else with it. 

Once Benson's cord fell off (Tuesday), I was excited to put him in some real outfits. Only to find that he no longer fits in the newborn size :( (that is, when he stretches out his legs). Carly was 1 1/2 months when this happened. 

First outing for our little man. Trip to the UPS store, then dollar tree to get activity supplies for Carly. 

 I sure LOVE this little guy.

Carly thought this toy was for her... 

 Carly being Carly

She got her fingernails painted for the first time this week when she hung out with my cousin & her girls :) She loves them!

Baby Benson

Well let me preface this post by pointing out I have quite the little trickster on my hands. At the beginning of my being 37 weeks - I was nesting big time. My experience with Carly was having a lot of contractions through third trimester, being put on bed rest at 34 weeks for dilating & effacing early, then having 1 day of nesting with my water breaking that night and she was born 4 1/2 hrs later. I thought since I was nesting all day, having no desire for a nap, and feeling a "fight or flight" response that I needed to get everything done and ready - I was certain my water would break that night. It didn't. We thought this baby would certainly come sometime in September. It worked out that Morgan had a 5 day stretch off work one weekend and the following weekend was a 3 day stretch. Of course we didn't make any major plans - how terrible would that be to go into labor in the car, or get stuck in traffic?

The beginning of my being 38 weeks, my contractions started getting stronger - really uncomfortable/borderline "stop what I'm doing" painful. I started having nights that were hard to sleep and contractions that would wake me up on & off. Those nights made me think this baby would be coming soon or that my water would break any minute. However, the waiting game continued.

September 28 & 29th took these uncomfortable contractions to the next level because they were frequent and I would need to sit on my birthing ball or get on my hands & knees for a lot of them. So on Sunday (Sept 29th) I texted my midwife to let her know I was timing & would call her soon. They were at another birth, but the baby had been born so they were just wrapping up. They got to my house at 3pm. I was 6 cm dilated. Wow, ok the baby was definitely coming. It was weird because my water hadn't broken and although the contractions made me stop what I was doing and breathe through them, they weren't as painful as what I remembered with Carly (after my water had broken & I was certain I was in labor). A few hours later they checked me again and I was 8 cm dilated. They gave me my first dose of penicillin. Things continued how they had been going, but after a few more hours I hadn't progressed anymore. We considered rupturing my membranes, but the amniotic sac was really tight over baby's head. They wait for a contraction and break it when it bulges, but mine wasn't bulging. I took a few homeopathics around 8:45pm to get things moving and my contractions were getting stronger & longer. After an hour or so, the contractions were getting less frequent. I kept moving, walking, jogging to try to keep things moving, but after a while I started getting exhausted. The contractions were slowing and all I wanted to do was lay down. So I did. My midwife asked me if I felt like I could sleep. I not only felt like I could, I felt like I really needed it. So I did and actually slept pretty well all things considered. I woke up every few hours, but was able to go back to sleep. When I woke in the morning I felt really sick and was shaking a lot. I took a zofran, then went for a walk/jog through the neighborhood with Morgan. When we got back my midwife checked me. I was still at 8 cm and I didn't feel that the contractions were picking back up. She gave me the option to rest and see what happens or to try to move things along. All I wanted was to rest. So my midwife left and left behind all the equipment for the birth (since I was the only one within range to deliver at this point). I was able to get some more rest, but for the rest of the day just felt emotionally drained. I really felt like a wreck. I was crying a lot and just feeling disappointed that I didn't have a baby in my arms yet. I was also worried that something might be wrong. We scheduled an ultrasound (Biophysical Profile) for the next day.

The ultrasound showed that baby boy was doing just fine (and thank goodness we learned he was in fact, still a boy). I still felt strange having labored with no results. That week I was resting a lot and working out everyday, eating pineapple and doing what I could naturally to promote baby coming. I received a blessing of comfort from Morgan on Monday morning and felt like the main message was to rest and wait. Later that day as I read my scriptures, I felt I should read Ether 12. Verses 27 & 29 really stood out to me. I felt as though I needed to exercise more faith and be patient. 

Saturday & Sunday Oct 5 & 6th was General Conference weekend and proved to almost repeat the last weekend of regular, strong, "stop what I'm doing most of the time" contractions. I didn't call my midwife because I was waiting for something to change. Either my water should break or the contractions should get a lot stronger. My mom and I walked a lot these days. On Sunday we walked 3 different times and I was sure feeling like my body was kind of falling apart. While watching General Conference I felt like all the talks were just for me. Over and over I kept hearing messages of faith, obedience, the love that Heavenly Father has for his children and that he has a plan for each of us. It reinforced the good feeling of waiting and seeing if Benson would come on his own. That night we made plans to go the YMCA in the morning, etc. 

Monday Oct 7th my contractions were keeping me awake starting around 3:30am. Nothing new, I'd been having these for a while. I was able to finally doze off eventually. Around 7:08am I turned from one side to the other and felt the contraction get a little stronger and do something. I thought to myself, "Did my water just break?" Something had happened. I stood up and I was pretty sure my water had broken. I called Morgan and told him I was 90% sure my water had broken, but I'd call him and let him know what's going on. Next I called my midwife, and started to feel these contractions were different and as I was telling her I thought my water was broken - I was leaking more and was certain it was broken. I spoke with Morgan a couple more times - to let him know I was for sure in labor & that my water had definitely broken. I told him to come home. I got changed and went into the guest room to tell my mom so she would know. I said, "Mom, my water broke and I'm in labor." She sat straight up and said, "What?!" I repeated it and then went out to the living room because I was having another contraction. I said a prayer of gratitude that my water broke and that Benson was finally coming on his own. I had been so worried all week wondering if I should do something to move things along, or just wait. I felt the best about waiting. 

I heard Carly wake up and because my mom was in the bathroom changing, I went in to change her diaper, labored through the next contraction, then went out and started cleaning up the living room in between contractions. I grabbed a roll to eat and ate it in between contractions. I was already having contractions where I felt like I needed to push and yelled at my mom to fill up the bath tub. That first one where I kind of yelled a little scared Carly and she started crying. My mom took Carly to the other end of the house - into the bonus room to watch a movie. It wasn't too long before I felt like I needed to get into the tub. Soon after getting in, my midwife arrived, checked on me and started to bring the ready supplies into the bathroom. She could already see his head. After about 3 pushes he was out and on my chest. Benson was born at 8:02am. We were getting about ready to cut the cord at 8:10am when Morgan walked through the door. Morgan cut the cord, then changed out of his work clothes. Benson was looking around to nurse right away and I nursed him as soon as I was situated in bed. He latched on really well and started nursing right away. 

His newborn exam went really well. Good shaped head - no coning, and good vitals. He weighs 7 lb 11 oz. We feel very blessed and know that our prayers have been answered. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan for me and my family. My joy is full.